Gothic Steam Phantastic

Van Helsing

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Van Helsing
directed by Stephen Sommers

The name Van Helsing has something special... it’s a Dutch name (well, no, it only looks that way, no one is called Helsing in Holland as far as I know). Yet it’s nothing like a national hero, the classic Van Helsing guy. After all, his opponent was much more interesting: Dracula. And the other hero, Jonathan Harker, was way cooler, like his rivals. In Dracula, Van Helsing might have been the alter-ego of Bram Stoker himself, they share the name (Bram/Abraham) and at least should have looked a bit like one another.

Not so in the movie Van Helsing. The name Abraham has gone, Gabriel is introduced. Van Helsing is a man in the strength of his life, an action hero, not a scientist. What’s more, there is no relation to the original Van Helsing whatsoever, nor is it explained why Van Helsing has a Dutch name. And the rest of the character is a bit of a riddle too, he lost his memory and he has a mysterious past, but at the end of the movie you don’t know much more about him than that. In that way, he is more like one of the super heroes from pulp fiction and Marvel comics, and flat as a leaf. That has more to do with the lack of a good script than with Hugh Jackman’s acting, as far as I can see.

The movie starts with a black-and-white introduction, where the atmosphere and style are exactly like in the early Universal horror-movies Dracula and The Monster of Frankenstein. Both Dracula and Frankenstein are over-acted, which fits very good in this part, and it’s lovely to see.

However, after this great classic-style introduction, it goes wrong. The story is no longer true to the classics, has some basic facts wrong without setting out a new myth, and has logical errors that any scriptwriter should be ashamed of.

First of all, Van Helsing is introduced in Paris, where he meets with Mr Hyde, who lurks in the Notre Dame as a genetically enhanced Quasimodo. As in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, what is Mr Hyde doing in Paris, and why does he look like the Hulk? And if, why is he not hanging around in Mont Martre, where he might find more of his kind?
Then the story takes us to Rome, where Van Helsing gets his mission to leave for Transylvania. He crosses the Adriatic Sea in what looks to me like a sixteenth century ship (that might have been under the command of Van der Decken, the Flying Dutchman), then continues on a horse crossing some high, snow topped mountains. And that in 1888, when there were excellent rail road connections into the heart of Transylvania (the Orient Express even stopped at Bucharest, and Transylvania was part of the Austrian-Hungaro Monarchy and not just another set-back country) - are we talking Transylvania here, or just Mordor?
And what does Anna the gypsy-princess in a castle? She looks more like something from the Vienna opera stage than like a real princess, gypsy or not. And she is not in the slightest bit gypsy.
Later on, they travel to the south-west, across the mountains again, where the filmmakers place Budapest at the place where you’d expect to find Belgrade (the fastest track from Transylvania to Budapest doesn’t cross any mountains). Van Helsing stands there under Karlovy Most, one of the main tourist attractions of.... Prague.
I’m not a nit picker and many errors in movies I don’t even see, but this one was so filled with them I could not help to notice. And there are a lot more...

The story is like all other monster-movies: the good guy has to defeat the monsters and in the end he does. You just know that. Van Helsing can’t fail. Even though you can’t keep a good corpse down, Dracula will be dead in the end. There is no tension from that in the movie. However, there is not much other tension either. During the movie, Van Helsing discovers that his weapons don’t work against the monsters... maybe he should have used the classic weapons (he tries to kill Dracula by planting a silver stake through his heart when they fight - every horror fan knows it has to be a wooden stake -silver is for werewolves- and that it has to be done when the vampire is asleep, so he get’s pinned in his coffin).

The action in the movie is a cross-over between James Bond and Scooby Doo. High-tech weapons, lots of fights, pursuits, and a new monster beyond every corner. If you come to see mindless action, this might just be the movie to love. Even though most of the action scenes are supposed to be spectacular, they are so obviously computer generated that it fails to increase the beating of the heart.

So far, so bad. Is there any reason to see the movie? Well, yes, there are! The decors are absolutely gothic, very well worked out, from the village in Transylvania to the laboratory of Dr. Frankenstein, Castle Dracula, even the landscape. It’s a real pleasure watching that. Especially the laboratory in Rome (that reminds of Q’s -from James Bond fame- workplace) and that of Dr Frankenstein (that has been inspired by Piranesi as far as I can see) are true steampunk places, dirty, hot, full of gadgets. Every mad scientist ought to have places like that.
And there is some excellent acting to see. Well, it will never win an Oscar, but it is in the style of Mel Brook’s “Young Frankenstein” and Roman Polanski’s “Dance of the Vampires” that the bad guys and some of the supporting actors play. Especially Dracula is played very well, considering the fact that both Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee have made impressing Draculas, but Richard Roxburgh makes his own Dracula that lives up to the legend and sometimes even brings the old Nosferatu (Max Schreck) to lif-ah... memory. Igor, Dr. Frankenstein, Carl (Van Helsing’s assistant) and the local undertaker are good for a smile every now and then with their over-acting. However, the classic, dramatic tragedy of the Wolfman and the Monster are shadowed by action and nonsense...
And there are Dwergi, a kind of evil Dwarfs dressed as some kind of robots. A good invention they are, a race that might “enlighten” more steampunk stories. They are, like Dwarfs, hard workers, who work at places that need special dress for protection, masks and goggles that hide their real, scary faces. They are loyal laboratory labourers for the bad guys.

Spoilers

Some afterthoughts about the movie that might spoil even the thin film of logic that is still over it:
Van Helsing can’t kill Frankenstein's Monster, because he -as he states- can only kill evil persons and not the evil they have created. But he kills Mr Hyde nonetheless, and he has been created by a mad scientist as well, the conflict between good and evil was what the whole Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde story is about.
Princess Anna can only get herself and her family in heaven if she destroys Dracula. She does end in heaven with her family, we see this in the end scenes, but she didn’t kill Dracula - it was Van Helsing who has killed him and Anna did not even assist him in doing this.
In Transylvania, full moon happens on a more regular base than anywhere else in the world.
Dracula can only be killed by a werewolf. To prevent this to happen, he has a cure for lycantropy. However, even at nights with full moon, when the werewolves roam Transylvania, he does not keep this close to him, but stores it in a room elsewhere, in a place where even he might have difficulties to reach it when a werewolf tries to attack.
Dracula has been send through the mirror, where he is locked away... when Carl tries to return through the mirror, he can’t get through. Yet, it is not explained how the heroes return to the normal world, nor is it explained how the villagers, who are clearly of this world, manage to attack the castle that ought to be in another place... really weird, and very unlogic.
Until Carl discovers the secret picture, there has been no real magic in the movie, but suddenly the picture starts moving without any clue how it is done - it looks like pure magic... just like the mirror.
Dr. Frankenstein brought his monster to life with the use of lightning. Dracula needs the Monster and lightning to bring his offspring to life, yet it is never made clear why he has to use a living body for that... just for fun?

Want to discuss the movie? See the Steampunk Media Forum.

© Yaghish 2003
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