Introduction
A short description of a future Holland

Map of Holland
Chaos visualised


Dutch Customs
A comprehensive guide to a future Holland

Characters
Meet the inmates of an open asylum

Glossary
Learn some important Dutch words and phrases

Back
Return to the sitemap
 
Here is a map and some geographical information of Holland and neighbours from after The Great Flood. It is clearly visible how the North Sea has conquered a lot of land comparing to the situation in the early 21st century.

Holland | Amsterdam | The Hague | Rotterdam | Zeeland | Friesland | The Netherlands | Road to Ganjastan


Map of Holland


Holland

Timeline

Pictures: Schoonredam

Amsterdam
Well-known throughout the world, Amsterdam has still its flair for the tourists. Usually, there are more tourists than citizens. The tourists are the main source of income for Amsterdam. After the Double Dutch War, a lot of the buildings in the inner city were ruined, but the Royal Dutch Government had the most important buildings rebuild right after the war. First, they rebuild the Red Light District (RLD) in eastern Amsterdam, then they had the museums rebuild in the west. The rest of the place consists of hotels, restaurants, and the famous coffeeshops (hash bars).
The canal-system of Amsterdam is still intact. The burning water in the canals gives the city its romantic extra at night.
After it had been officially declared “Museum City” (because of tax reasons) Amsterdam lost its name as capital of the Netherlands. The Queen has tried to get the name capital attached to New Amsterdam, but that hamlet in the bogs of Drenthe never got the flair of a real capital. With the name Museum City, a wall was build around the place and every half-mile there is an entrance where everyone can enter the city for a fistful of euros.

One of the most important indoor museums of Amsterdam is the Rijks. The original building was burned down at the end of the Double Dutch War, but a part of the collection has been moved to the equally ugly building of Central Station (like the original museum dating from The Ugly Age). Many valuable pieces of the collection are now in the hands of The Queen, the gaps in the collection have been filled with porn - and the Rijks never had more visitors in its history.

The coat of arms of Amsterdam has always had three red Andreas-crosses in it. Modern tradesmen discovered the hidden value of this coat of arms and proclaimed everywhere that the three crosses where in fact three X-s, which stand for triple-X-rated: adults only. This sign can now be found everywhere, in neon on the city walls, visible from everywhere around the place.

Southeast of Amsterdam is the enormous Arena Greenhouse. This used to be the stadium for FC Ajax, but after several tries to get some grass growing in it, they changed business to growing weeds. With the roof of the stadium closed, it proved to be the best greenhouse in Holland. Meanwhile, FC Ajax had moved its base to Almere, where the football team was sadly drowned during the final of the Dutch Football Championship.

To the east of Amsterdam, bordering the RLD, is Amsterdoom. This place is the radiac graveyard of the former capital. Today, it is the headquarters of the Hippy Army.

Pictures: RLD AmsterdamSchiphol Airport AmsterdamLe Faye Beau Amsterdam

Hague
Ever since there was something political going on in The Netherlands, it was done in The Hague. Before the Double Dutch War, it never was the capital of the land in name, but it was the core of the government that resided here. After Amsterdam lost its status as capital when it became a Museum City, The Hague became the new capital of Holland.
The city has been build on higher grounds, the dunes, and was not very affected by the Great Flood. The Double Dutch War did more damage, both normal and collateral, to the city. A lot of monuments went up in flames, among then the Royal Palaces. Ever since, the Kings live in the Royal Bunker, safely build into the dunes, where the more ancient parts date back to the Second World War’s Atlantik Wall. The Hague has always had a status as provincial town, a quiet town where nothing ever happened. This has not really changed after the war. The centre of the city was blown to pieces, the tunnel through its heart was abandoned, and the Red Light District never made it as big as that of Amsterdam.
The above mentioned tunnel, known as Souterrain, was a very pretty part of the shopping centre and had trams going through it (the city was too provincial for a real metropolitan underground). Now, it is the home of many refugees, homeless and illegal citizens. They call it The Hole.
The proud landmark of The Hague is the tower of the St. Jacob’s Church, that rises high up, far above sea level. From the top of the tower you can see (if you’re not sick already) the towns that surround The Hague: Scheveningen, the beach-city, to the West, Leiden to the north-east, and Delft, the tourist-trap to the south-east. On the southern horizon you can see the smoking ruins of Rotterdam.

Rotterdam
The Doomed City, the eternal second.
Rotterdam on the New Maas, at times largest sea-port in the world, and always more modern, trendy and hip than rivalling city Amsterdam, will never be capital of Holland. Bombed to pieces in the Second World War, the city had been rebuild in the 20th century, only to be destroyed again in the Double Dutch War.
Although the centre is ruined, the sea-port still functions and is one of the worlds largest trade centres for all kinds of drugs. The harbour is also the headquarters of the North Sea Pirates who run their dredging company from the banks of the New Maas. Other successful enterprises in Rotterdam include the FIOD (police for the IRS) and the Roteb (the company responsible for garbage collecting that got very rich after the Double Dutch War, but still hasn’t ended [or started?] cleaning the mess of the war).
Only 25 km from the residence of King Alex X, Rotterdam is under strong Dutch influence. It has no longer monuments to attract tourists and a large part of the citizens are refugees from Zeeland.
The highest building in Rotterdam is the Eifel Tower Euromast, which can be seen from miles away. The main boulevard of the city is called Coolsingel, which used to be a cool place indeed, but now is only lined with the ruins of sky scrapers.

About 5 km to the west lays Black Jajem City. The place used to have another name, but that one is forgotten. The plants for Jajem production and the dirty smoke coming from their chimneys gave the place its new name. Centuries ago, each kind of jajem had its own name, but now the plants operate under the general name of Royal Dutch Jajem Industries.

South of Rotterdam, on the other side of the New Maas, is a large crater that has been formed immediately after the oil-refineries of Pernis were attacked by the Dutch. The crater is now full of water, but so polluted even ice-breakers have problems navigating there. Beyond the crater is Zeeland.

Pictures: Rotterdam Harbour Maggie's place, Rotterdam Rotterdam Euromast Rotterdam North Sea Pirates, Rotterdam Harbour

Zeeland
The terror of the North Sea has struck more than once in Zeeland. After the Great Flood it was more sea than land and there is no project to improve the situation. Although Zeeland is in a way still under the Law of King Alex X, the land has been given up, and there is no money to help the people of Zeeland. Even so, there are not enough people in Zeeland to pay enough taxes to be taken seriously.
Many inhabitants have migrated to Rotterdam. The refugees are well known for their greed and their trade-spirit.
Zeeland now being somewhat anarchistic, it has no longer any protection from the Hippy Army. But the Queen of The Netherlands has no intention to take the land marshes. Meanwhile, the remaining settlements are still raided by the North Sea Pirates.

Friesland
The Frysians have taken advantage of the Double Dutch War to declare themselves independent. They have no government and are well known for their anarchistic terror in the northern parts of The Netherlands. Harko Galema, leader of the Frysian Rebels, denies every bit of leadership.
There is a lot of trade between Holland and Friesland, especially when it comes to weapons and porn. The Dutch see Friesland as a place to relax and Friesland welcomes the tourists and their drugs with open arms. It is their main source of life - staying alive is not easy in the isolated after-war Friesland.
Friesland has no capital. The former capital has been washed away by the newly reformed “Middle Sea” and, according to Galema, there is no need for a capital, a central place in an anarchistic country with a decentralised government.
The Frysians have their own language, Frysk. This language is impossible to understand for the Dutch.

Netherlands
After the Double Dutch War, The Netherlands have split up in several smaller parts. These parts were named after former provinces, only the parts that were under the rule of The Queen took over the old name of The Netherlands. The capital of The Netherlands is Eindhoven in the south, near the international airport Welschap. The largest city in The Netherlands is A2-City. This city is formed along the speedway A2 in the beginning of the Eternal Traffic Jam. Houses are made of cars and caravans.
In the Netherlands, there is a dialect that is related to that in Holland. It’s not easy to understand this dialect (which, by the way, is seen as a proper language in The Netherlands).
The Queen rules over The Netherlands. He has close contact with King Alex X, because The Netherlands would be very isolated without the contracts concerning the highways.
The trade to and from Holland is restricted. Many goods can not be taken over the border. This causes a lot of smuggle in the border regions.

Languages


© Yaghish 2001-2004