Jokes

Stuffed

Three young noblemen are at a party. They sit in the salon,waiting for dinner and one of them eats a big slice of cake with his tea. The catering passes with the dinner plates, filled with grilled huns, fat lambs stuffed with mushrooms and urts, huge bacon/cheese-pies and sweet berry-puddings, a cauldron filled with spicy unicorn-stew. One of the noblemen says to the cake-eater: "You´d better leave some space for dinner!" The third nobleman (rumours have it, it was actually Yzabrân, Count of Ciniz) reacts with a snappy "You should have eaten walshleba!"
(The walshleba is a kind of bread with a large hole in it. It is baked over an open fire, the dough wrapped around an iron stick)

Number

Altheizar has finally house numbers in all neighbourhoods. Woman, proud to her rural friends from De Wijde Meent: "My house is now very easy to find, it is the only number 8 in the street!"

And the horse says...

Following joke is told in the high society of Ildritz. It mocks the rich citizens who want to belong to the high society but doesn’t understand the culture of the upper classes:
A man has made a fortune and moves with his wife from Ildritz to Lazulameir as "nouveaux riches". They buy a nice palace with a view on the lake. They buy the Turbo Tainjo from Sazpo, the hottest carriage builder around. Now they need a horse.
The man asks his wife what kind of horse it should be. "I don´t care," she replies, "but a black one would be nice."
The man agrees and travels to Hufa where the horse market is held. He is quite stunned by all the animals, tall and small, big and lean, muscular and gracious. He has no idea what would be the best of the horses. He asks around and find most traders a bit too expensive - he is still not used to spend his newly-earned money.
Eventually he finds a man in a corner of the market who has more reasonable prices.
"Do you sell horses?" the new rich asks.
"Yes I do."
"To pull a tainjo?"
"Yes, I have these."
"Do you have them in black?"
"Yes I have, see for yourself." The horse-trader takes the man to the animals. The man walks around a bit and keeps out of reach from the animals of which he is rather scared. One of the animals is less scary, and it eats peacefully from the grasses in its box.
"How much is this one?
"Only 20 Skatts, special price for this annual market," the trader says.
"What about these things on the head?"
"These are accessories, you get them for only 50% of the price, only 1 Skatts, because you are such a gentle fellow. They are called horns. If something crosses your path, use the horns and you are free to pass."
"Sounds good," the man says. He looks more closely at the animal.
"What about the hooves? They seem to be split."
"That´s to make it go faster. These horses go twice the speed of a normal horse."
The man frowns, he is not really keen on going fast.
"Don´t worry, mister. This one can go very slowly as well, it is trained to pull your tainjo in a fashion you won´t even notice the bumps on the road."
"What about the tail? Horses do have more hairy tails normally, do they?"
"Yes sir, but this baby is easy in maintenance. You have to comb her only once a week instead of each day. The tail is especially bred for that."
"Right, right." The man is now almost ready to buy. He has one final question. "What is that pink thing with the four fingers underneath?"
"That is the special picnic de luxe accessory," the salesman says. "It contains fresh milk. For you, only 2 Skatts extra for this wonderful accessory. Your wife will love it."
"Very well, I´ll buy this horse," the man says. He places 23 Skatts on the counter.
"What does it eat? Hay, carrots?" informs the man.
"No, no, only grasses and some herbs, this one is very cheap to feed," answers the trader and takes the money away with a broad grin.
The man is content with his new horse and goes home. Proudly, he shows the animal to his wife. She is stunned. She frowns, thinks about what to say. "It´s, it´s..." she stutters, "It´s a beauty, and so black!"
The man nods.
The horse says... "Mooooh!"
(The last word is mostly uttered in unison by those who understand the joke, who don’t understand will imitate a horse.)

Steam

A refuser has been invited to a party of an old friend. He arrives on foot, in the rain.
"Why didn't you take the steam car?" the friend asks.
"I'm sorry, but I despise steam," the refuser says and hands his wet umbrella to the guard-des-robes. He walks into the salon and gets seated. There's organ music in the background.
"Do you like the melodies of the steam organ?" a dandy asks him friendly.
"I despise steam, sir," the refuser answers in a grim manner. The dandy turns around and the butler takes his place.
"What can I do for you?" the butler asks the refuser.
"A cup of tea, please," the refuser demands.
Only a short period later, the butler returns and hands the refuser a cup of the.
The refusers nips from it. "By the Gods! It's cold!"
"Yes sir," the butler replies, "especially for you, because you despise steam, sir."

When the dragon set the house on fire

OOPS!

[Back to top]